Have you ever taken a personality quiz? If not, I highly suggest you take a couple of minutes to do the one offered on 16Personalities. When I took it about a year or two ago, I was absolutely shocked at how accurate the results were. To the point, where I felt like the quiz knew more about me than I did myself…Basically, it defined me as an introvert or an INFJ personality type:
“…Their friends and colleagues will come to think of them as quiet Extraverted types, but they would all do well to remember that INFJs need time alone to decompress and recharge, and to not become too alarmed when they suddenly withdraw. INFJs take great care of other’s feelings, and they expect the favor to be returned – sometimes that means giving them the space they need for a few days” (16personalities.com).
Honestly, when I read this everything started to make sense to me. I am a very independent person with a select few close friends and although I love them dearly, sometimes the thought of hanging out with one of them stressed me out. I would agree to plans, but immediately regret my decision because I was not sure if I was going to have the energy to do so later on. I realize now I am seriously the definition of introvert!
Let’s be clear, this has absolutely nothing to do with my friends and it is specifically a personal “issue”. Yet, I have been struggling with this inner social battle the entirety of my life and it became even more apparent as I entered my 20s and was in the midst of my college years.
When I was living at school, all of my friends and peers were constantly going out at night – sometimes from Thursday through Saturday night. At first, I tried my best to keep up with the incessant small talk and social drinking, but it started to take a toll on me as I realized I was starting to dread weekends in general because it came with making plans and coordinating with friends. Clearly, this was an issue.
It might be ludicrous to some of you to hear that a simple personality test opened my eyes to who I am, but it is true! The results of this quiz defined my social tendencies and prescribed it an actual name. It helped me realize this is just who I innately am and I am not alone (although according to 16personaltiies.com, INFJ’s make up less than 1% of the population)!
As an INFJ, talking to people can be physically draining for me. Hence, why I feel the need to take a night to be with myself and to regain this lost energy. I think a lot of introverts can relate to this feeling of social exhaustion. If this is the case, you should never push yourself to do more than you can handle like I did. I honestly think it can lead to feeling burnt out or even resentful to yourself or your friends.
Ultimately, I stopped going out as much and managed to find a nice balance of spending the night curled up in bed with a good movie and hanging out with my friends. So why am I bothering to share this self-discovery? I wanted to tell my experience of growing up as a young adult for anyone else who finds themselves to be ashamed of their introvertedness. Sometimes you feel left out or as if something is wrong with you simply because you do not see the merit in partying every weekend. I wanted to let these people know that it is okay not wanting to be the stereotypical young adult who socializes every second of the day. Sometimes preferring to stay in by yourself is exactly what you need.
Is anyone else a fellow INFJ? If not, what’s your personality type?